Watching The Pruitt-Igoe Myth made me think about this scene in Driftwood, where Willie appears to be feeling embarrassed in front of Aeron about the place where she lives, and Aeron tries to reassure her that he’s from a crappy background, too, perhaps ‘worse’ than hers.
It’s not that she really hates the place and thinks she is somehow better than other people living there, or something like that. It’s internalized stigmatization of yourself as a resident of a poor/’bad’ neighbourhood. Obviously she wouldn’t feel like that in front of people she knows are from similar places, like her friends (Sophie was from Chandless, too, but got kicked out by her mother and stepfather, and Robinson is from nearby low-income terraces). And towards a lot of people from ‘better’ neighbourhoods (like posh classmates of hers, or - in a way - her mum) she would rather feel proud about her working class neighbourhood.
But she did feel like that in front of Aeron, because she thinks he is really cool :3 … It’s extremely important to her what he thinks about her, and she’s overly conscious of all the ‘bad’ things about herself. It’s not only individual self-esteem issues, but internalized systematic stigmatization (towards poor, unemployed, single parent households, immigrants, addicts, residents of this specific neighbourhood, etc.) that even she as a relatively politically aware person hasn’t managed to purge from herself.
Besides, to her, what he’d mentioned about his background sounded rather nice and idyllic, and free and adventurous - certainly very different from the urban poverty that was her own reality.
I went back and redrew Aeron in this panel (Driftwood ch. 9, p. 57) … I guess my brain takes a few days sometimes to come to an intelligent conclusion about something (like that the first version of this panel was simply unacceptable).
V^(oo)^;V
#’getting strong without being broken first’ is like all i want from anything but especially girl monster stories #stop making women small before you let them be big #i am tired of revenge stories #i am tired of all my heroines hurting
(via valjeans)
#yes #why do my ladies have to become strong #why can’t they just BE strong
(via oi-dancing-boy)
One thing that really impressed me as a kid about Sailor Moon was that most - if not all - the monsters were female. (And not sexualized!)
Some people have asked for “origin stories” about Eva, how she became so badass … I’ve honestly tried to think of something, but she’s just always been badass (as is indeed kind of implied in Driftwood).
Oh, and O-Poh, the sea monster based on my guidance councelor at the time. :p Chief Razor Clam is female, too, but maybe I wasn’t able to draw it obviously enough back then …
Aeron’s idealized fantasy of how it might have been if nobody had ever died or left home, and the whole family still lived together in their old house. (Cover of Tunguska #8.)
For years I had been scolding myself because I just “mindlessly copied” the window on the upper floor from the photo I used as reference for this. That window nook is clearly hand-built at a much later point and not at all typical for this type of Russian log huts.
But the other day, when some dialogue where Aeron was talking about their house arrived in my brain, it finally hit me: Of COURSE they would have built in a window or two in the upper floor if the whole family shared the house. The main floor is only the kitchen and a small room, so of course they would have converted the attic into one or two extra little rooms for Eva and Aeron …
I had a quite clear revelation of the rest of this chapter yesterday, when I finally had a chance to not think about dayjobs. And I’m looking forward to it. So let’s see when I can manage to draw it … I’ve been working my ass off lately, and various things have disrupted my routines, but I should be able to schedule a few hours per day for drawing (when I am home)?! V`(oo)´;V
Plagiarism. Can be a sensitive issue.
These are my own sins, from 1998-2000. (Click to browse through them and read descriptions.) Before that I wasn’t ambitious enough, or maybe even good enough, to copy, and after that I found it too shameful. I think it’s really only acceptable to knowingly copy/plagiarize when you really can’t do it on your own. But even then it’s shameful. Some of these panels are even printed in proper published books now. How embarrassing! V>(oo)<;V
I use photo and Google Street View reference quite often today, but I always make sure to change the angle, weather or time of day, or do my usual “can’t be bothered to use a ruler”-fisheye distortion to change the image significantly. And I think backgrounds are perhaps not as bad to copy as poses and especially very personal things like body language, gestures and bits of dialogue.
It has actually happened that I’ve noticed certain other artists probably copying something from my comics. I try to not get too depressed about how pathetic those artists must be if they think that half-assedly copying bits of another artist’s work is an acceptable level of originality for their comics. (I guess I thought so when I was 16-19 years old. Not now that I’m past 30.)
Instead I try to think that maybe their characters (on a meta level) read Driftwood and are trying to impress their love interests with lines or moves that they’ve copied from there (because, yes, it’s usually the romantic scenes … I guess those really did come out quite nicely).
And when that doesn’t work, I try to remind myself how it was kind of silly of Marilyn Manson to write Mutilation Is The Most Sincere Form of Flattery (saying he would feel embarrassed to be himself because of some people doing pitiful, shallow versions of what he’s done) and that I’m being just as silly as Manson if I let that get me down.
But anyway, if you’ve made something good, it might get copied. But if the original is good enough to stand on its own, the copies will indeed be only pitiful and shallow in comparison (no matter how much more popular they might be X-D), so why care. If it’s not good enough, well, then back to work!
V^(oo)^;V
In Driftwood chapter 9, I was worrying if Willie’s skirt was maybe too short. But if This Is England ‘86 is in any way applicable to what was England ‘98, that actually seems like a pretty normal skirt length for school uniforms …
In March 2011 I put these statues of some of the main characters in Driftwood, that I made in high school, out in my garden. I was too embarrassed to throw them away. The frosts of last winter took their toll on some of them …
Willie looks extremely scary and both her hair and her face are cracking off … Aeron lost all his hair, and the mice keep knocking him over when they look for ways into the greenhouse.
Eva on the other hand is so badass that nothing has fazed her. (Maybe because I made her from one continuous piece of clay - can’t remember.)
And the Ghost is already dead, so clearly nothing can kill him/her, either …
I drew this two years ago, in August 2010. I don’t make a lot of “stand-alone” drawings and illustrations, but I got a sudden inspiration for this one. I saw it before my inner eye and had to draw it.
At that time I had a different plan for how Driftwood was going to end, so I assumed that Aeron’s presence in the image was only symbolic or something - after all, he looked a bit blurry along the edges …
Gradually I started to realise that this vision was actually telling me exactly what was supposed to happen!
I was a bit reluctant to accept it, because I thought it was a bit sexist that she apparently needed the help of a man to become free from another man.
Then again, it’s technically Samona who is helping them both. And Willie is the one who asks him if they can bring her back to their world. While Aeron’s original intention with the visit was to get some kind of closure for himself if she had moved on, as he assumed. But then I guess he saw how sad and depressed she looked and decided to appear and talk with her. :3 (And he was intentionally waiting for her to ask if they could bring her back, because it needed to be her own idea. … I guess he knows how to handle stubborn women after spending some time with his sister.)
It’s part of her “liberation” to dare to choose to be with people (plural :3) who like and respect her, and also, I guess, to dare to take the risk of loving somebody even though everything she has seen in her own family would suggest that it’s only going to go to hell sooner or later, for no particular reason.
And, most importantly, the story does not end there, and there’s a lot more to it than might appear at this point …
I remembered that Ilan has this awesomepants audiorecorder, so I made a voiceover video anyway! Sorry about all my mistakes and inconsequentialities … V^(oo)^;V
the frankly biggest, and only, regret i have about devoting to a comic project long-term is it takes up most of the drawing/creative time, and it generally means every extra art project or even a single piece is time sacrificed from a coherent updating model on the comic.
So every time there’s that itch to create, you either scratch it and have it affect your comic updates, but most of the time you simply let those moments slide in favour of comix, all those potential moments of new breakthroughs. :E In this sense I envy people who stick to non-sequential works or only dabble to comic-stuff. More roads to follow and less commitments to keep you from experiementing I guess. Of course that’s not to say there aren’t long term rewards or development in comic-making, on the contrary, but its in different areas and a lot of the time on the expense of short-term gratification.
I can’t remember when I last had time devoted to a big-scale illustration…
I probably wouldn’t like Judecca as much if it wasn’t drawn the way it is. The art and the atmosphere and emotions it conveys is a big part of why I like it so much.
For me as an artist this has actually never been an issue. Long-term gratification wins over short-term gratification anytime. And to me, my long, (relatively) meticulously drawn stories that almost no one reads are far greater than any fame or fortune that might come from illustrations or quickly sketched gag cartoons seen by millions.
Because when I work slowly on lengthy comics I can forget myself, and I know that I am working for something that is greater than myself. If I don’t have a long comic to work on, I’m full of anxiety and my life feels pretty meaningless. (I’m actually in that stage right now, waiting anxiously for the revelation of the opening scene of my next comic …)
Use “nearly” instead of “almost” in the dialogue of British characters, if there is any chance. :3
(I’m lettering the English book edition of Driftwood right now …)
Submitted
YOU ARE SIX FUCKING TEEN
YOU DON’T KNOW THE MEANING OF
OF ANYTHING
STOP FUCKING THIS WEIRDO YOU IDIOT
Eh … I’d say that’s a kind of extreme reaction to a situation you basically don’t know anything about. V^(oo)^;V
Admittedly the fact that it’s a secret relationship makes it a bit creepy, but we don’t know why exactly they are keeping it secret. We don’t know where they live, what their families are like, etc. So it could be for legal reasons or because of controlling parents … could be because the guy is an irresponsible asshole who wants to have a convenient and easily manageable relationship … could also be for reasons totally unrelated to their age or maturity.
Since Driftwood is about a 16 year old girl who is in love with a 26 year old guy, I think a lot about these things and I feel guilty and like a paedophile.
When I myself was 16 I couldn’t imagine being with the stupid immature guys my own age, so I fantasized about older guys and just bided my time. Girls overall mature faster than boys, and depending on her background and experiences a girl can very well be emotionally an adult at 16 (which is quite true for Willie in Driftwood).
Now I’m 31 and have been with a guy who is nine years older, on and off for many years now - and in many, if not most, ways I’m still much more mature than him. (Though if we had met when I was 16 and he was 25, I might not have been interested, because he seems to have been too immature back then …)
As for Aeron’s motivations - he’s been giving Willie the space and freedom she has needed, and while he had been flirting with her rather shamelessly he did make an effort to leave it up to her to take initiatives.
So in his case I do think it’s about her as a person, and not about having an easily controllable, adoring little puppy who will do whatever you want with minimum effort … :3
In the end it’s not about age, but about the persons involved. A partner can use you for his or her egocentric needs and throw you away no matter what age you two are, and you can have a nice relationship on equal terms also with a big age difference.
My own first “relationship” type experience was a bit of a disaster (I was 19, he was two years older and about as immature as I), and yes, it was very painful, but it was a really valuable experience that taught me a lot about myself and the world, and if I could travel back in time I’d do it all over again. I would not want anybody to have “saved” me from that pain.
(via stalinwasabasicbitch)
That shirt
Very early on I drew Willie wearing a Maiden shirt, because she’s a bit of a metalhead. I faintly recall that I just copied it from some magazine and didn’t think much about which one it was.
Years later I realised I had drawn the Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter shirt, which is a bit funny, because that song is about female adolescence (literally getting your first period, according to Bruce Dickinson himself), which is also what Driftwood is very much about (not the period, but adolescence) … :3
I also realised that it’s perhaps a bit sexist, but, oh well.
Александр Грин.
Even before I had read any of his books, Alexandr Grin was one of the most fundamental inspirations for Driftwood. In one of the Gulag Archipelago books, Solzhenitsyn mentions Grin briefly, describing the “harbours” of the Archipelago as “certainly not the fairytale harbours to which Alexandr Grin would entice us, where you would enjoy a drink of rum and court lovely ladies”. The Swedish translator explained in a rather mysterious footnote that Grin wrote “romantic science fiction-like adventure stories, often with a maritime theme”.
As I realised later, the term “science fiction” was a rather poor translation of the Russian literary genre fantastika, which stands for both science fiction and fantasy. Grin’s stories are definitely more fantasy and not science fiction at all.
But anyway, to my young mind, the combination of “maritime”, “science fiction” and Soviet Russia was absolutely irresistible. Grin’s books are pretty much unknown outside of the former Soviet Union, maybe because their escapist tendencies didn’t make them too suitable as cultural export goods. So in my frustration with not being able to find his books anywhere, I almost compulsively started weaving a story of my own with these very elements.
(via roggenwolf)
